Am I the world’s worst wife?

January 23, 2019

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I hope you are having a luscious start to the year wherever you are in the world.

Right now I’m in sunny, hot Australia, living at the coast with my new husband.

Adjusting to married life has been… challenging.
Mostly because I’ve realized that – I am perhaps the world’s worst “wife”.

>> I don’t clean (I have a cleaner)
>> I’m not that interested in cooking
>> I’ve been letting my mother-in-law (who’s staying with us) do our laundry
>> And I don’t even have the excuse of “having to work hard” in my business (because I rarely do more than 15/hrs week work)

Somehow, post marriage, this situation (which has ALWAYS been the situation in our household) triggered a new rush of thoughts & feelings in my body.

“I can’t even maintain my own household….”
“My mother-in-law’s going to think that I’m just lazy…”

I felt ashamed.
Ashamed I let everyone else run my household.
Ashamed that despite “not working hard” and I was still making (really good) money.

>>> How fuc*ed up is that?

For years women have been fighting for the privilege to have it all.Yet all I felt was ashamed that I wasn’t enough.
Wasn’t working hard enough.
Wasn’t capable enough.

I sought out my husband to discuss the matter & work through it. While I might not meet the typical expectations of a good-wife, in the emotional intimacy department we’re an A+ partner.

Our relationship, like every other area of my life, reflects the values I hold.

Fact is, the rules of generations past no longer apply.
A woman is NOT measured by how well she can run her house. Or how hard she works.
A woman is measured by how TRUE she is to herself.

It is TRUE to me that what I FEEL is more important than what’s EXPECTED of me.
It is TRUE to me that I honor MY BODY’S needs first.
It is TRUE to me that I can work 15/hrs week & make great money.
It is TRUE to me that I can have a cleaner, and don’t have to justify why.
It is TRUE to me that I can disappoint some people, yet still be a success.

As I reaffirmed my truths I allowed the shame & not-enoughness to be fully felt, and dissolve.
I booked my cleaners again for the following week.
Took a nap.
And let my husband worry about dinner.

Times are changing.
New paradigms are here.
We each have a privilege & we only get one life to use it.
Spend it wisely.

Emotional empowerment & deep aliveness are currencies more valuable to me than others in the world.
More valuable than others approval, or expectations.

When I prioritize these values, I receive riches beyond measure.
Riches in time.
Riches in depth.
Riches in money.

And then I’m free to use the same values to create my work.
Spend my money.
And to contribute back to the world where not everyone has the same privilege as me.

This week you can join me for a free training series for women who are also called to work with the new paradigm of feminine arts.

Over three self-paced classes we’ll be exploring how to redefine & work with the embodied feminine, recalibrating your confidence to work with clients & find your own success.

EMBODIED COACHES & PRACTITIONERS TRAINING SERIES

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Join us & receive class one immediately at: www.jennaward.co/training
or enter your details below.

 

These classes are about the heart of what it means to work with feminine embodiment arts as a student & practitioner.

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