How can I bring more spirituality + embodiment into my relationship?
It’s the million dollar question. You are growing, you are exploring + becoming a more conscious woman and you are SO ready for your man to come along to the party.
#1 Don’t ask for permission
As we grow + develop, we begin to know ourselves more + see ourselves differently. These internal changes can feel profound within us, yet from the outside they can seem subtle.
We are so ready for our lovers, our friends, our clients to see us in a certain way, and often that means we begin to look for validation and signs that they do see us in a certain light.
Yet looking for validation is, indirectly, looking for permission + asking another to quantify your worth.
As a woman, your nature is feminine, the same as mother earth. Her nature – your divine nature – is sensual and flow, it is fierce and beautiful, it is chaotic and wild. It is highly emotional, and unpredictable and sensual. It is your nature to be all these things, and you are, when you claim them for yourself.
I know that as I was claiming myself as a sensual woman I had the expectation that my man would validate what I was feeling… yet at first he didn’t.
He didn’t validate my sensual dance, instead he wondered if I was trying too hard. He didn’t endorse my more sensual wardrobe, instead he wanted me to remain the maiden-like-girl he had always known.
If his permission had been the defining factor in my growth – I would have stayed still. Yet I knew what was best for me, and I asked him to trust. To trust that this exploration was really important and based in integrity for me.
ACTION: Tune in now + ask yourself is there something you are waiting for permission from your partner to be/do/have, and are you ready to give that permission to yourself?
#2 Lead by Example
Can you sometimes tell something is wrong, or on your man’s mind… but he just won’t open to explore it with you? If you are anything like me a handful of different spiritual tools and tips come to mind that I want to share….
You start thinking “I know exactly what you could do!” or “I know just the thing that could help!” yet every time you broached the subject he just shuts down further (which frustrated you even more!).
My man used to be a closed book and no amount of questioning or revisiting the topic would get him to open up until… I learnt the power of vulnerability and leading by example.
Spirituality and consciousness practices are not about “you should be living this way or living that way”. This kind of helping, while based in the most noble of intentions, can sometimes come across as “I’m more spiritual or aware than you”. I’ve definitely been guilty of this.
These kinds of approaches often push our men further away as we explain the logic or the theory of our intents.
What REALLY works is leading by example, by being the first one to step into vulnerable expression, or pain, or shame.
Leading by example from your heart, not your head, is where the magic happens.
The intimacy of the bedroom is often where these chats begin, a safe space, without distractions of phones/computers/children, to start… by expressing how you feel, by sharing what is present in your heart, by being the example of opening and asking for support… and demonstrating that it’s okay to lean onto your partner.
ACTION: before you go to sleep tonight take a moment to create some space with your man, and go first in vulnerability – sharing deeply and authentically how you felt/what’s troubling you. Allow yourself to open deeply + see what he shares back as a result….
#3 Keep him In the loop
Keeping your man informed is essential for both of your sanity – this is never more true than when you are “going through stuff” or about to bleed.
Through open discussion of what my body is feeling + what part of my cycle I am in, my man knows to adjust his expectations during certain times of the month.
Just this weekend my man was pitching our tent, he turned to me and said “Can you help – I can’t do this alone”. From my comfortable vantage point on my hammock, I replied “honestly, I can’t right now, I need to rest, you know I’m bleeding” and so he went about pitching our tent by himself…. Without resentment, without blame.
Our men desire to support + protect us – but if they don’t know, if they don’t understand, they can’t help.
ACTION: Start a conversation with your man about what stage of your cycle you are in, and what that means for your energy, inspiration and sex drive. Let him know because this impacts his happiness too.
As women it’s our divine role to bring home what we learn, and elevate our family and community with the beautiful spiritual tools + practices we are learning and practicing.
Now it’s your turn.
- What sparked for you while reading these words?
- Which action might you feel inspired to take?
- Or do you have another suggestion/tip for helping our men to join the conscious conversation?
Let me know in the comments section below!
We are also continuing the party with conscious conversation + sharing about all things spiritual, soulful, sensual + embodiment related over in The Embodied Woman Private Facebook Group – you are SO welcome to JOIN US THERE.
