Deep, rich, intimate relationships.
The partner who holds you up, celebrates + supports you.
A lover that cracks you open + awakens the sensual siren within.
We all want one of these relationships. But HOW? How do we attract the lover, how do we ignite the spark in our partner, how do we get the relationship we want?
I’ve tried countless strategies, techniques, dating-apps + ploys. And yet, time and time again I come back to the simple truth that…
Getting the relationship you want is not about the lover, or the man.
Its about you. And how much you desire yourself.
When we fall radically in love with ourselves – everything thrives. Our work becomes richer, our confidence stronger, our love deeper.
The truth about relationships is that the support + the love that we need doesn’t come from outside us.
You are the support you need.
You are the adoration you desire.
You are the love that expands your heart.
Your relationship with yourself is the barometer for every other relationship in your life.
For years I lived my life waiting for my lovers to fill me up.
… Wanting him to give me a ring so I felt safe.
… Wanting him to give me children so I felt purposeful.
… Wanting him to make me happy.
… Wanting him to desire me so I felt sexy.
… Wanting him to realize his potential, so I felt free to realize mine.
And while I’ve been in some beautiful relationships, that I wouldn’t change for the world…
Ultimately, it wasn’t until I began to desire myself that the romance department began to thrive.
All of the frustration, lack + heart-break we experience through relationship can essentially be re-framed by just one question.
A question that has nothing to do with the lover.
And everything to do with you.
How much do you desire yourself?
Desiring yourself is the secret to awakening your feminine Shakti power.
- Because when you show up as a magnetic + radiant woman, the adoration grows. The desire deepens. The love expands.
- When you show up as a woman who desires herself, you won’t settle. You won’t stick around to be treated any less than you deserve.
- When you show up as a woman who desires herself, your self-confidence explodes + your jealous fears based on insecurity are healed.
- When you desire yourself, you stop settling for the relationship based on healing each other and you expand into a relationship based on elevating each other.
The purpose of relationship is to elevate you – but that can only happen when you both show up in your POWER.
Connecting with your powerful feminine essence is a sure way to ignite more desire for yourself.
And when you desire yourself, there is no lover alive who can resist you.
Here are my 4 favourite feminine essence practices. Tools you can try to begin desiring yourself more.
1. Get Naked
There is nothing quite so powerful as sensation and skin to turn on your desires.
Bringing our awareness into our senses helps us to enjoy the body we have.
Instead of thinking, comparing + wanting to be/have something different – dropping into our senses allows us to experience the world from within.
While we all have a lot of stories about not being beautiful, when we strip away the stories, the expectations, the judgement – at the core of you, you do truly know yourself to be beautiful.
Getting naked connects us to ourselves, our environment + our body. It’s a practice of BE-ing with ourselves.
Sleeping naked is one of my favourite ways to get naked. Feel the sheets on your body, drape yourself in a beautiful dressing gown, roll around in bed, touch your skin. Awaken the pleasure of being you through your senses.
2. Accept a compliment
Many of us habitually dismiss compliments. Deflecting the praise, quietly believing it’s not true, or that it’s born out of obligation.
I love to practice full receivership when a compliment is sent my way. Accepting a compliment doesn’t have to inflate your ego, or make you vain.
A compliment is the Universe reflecting your beauty back to you. It’s a pure offering of love from another into your heart.
But to accept a compliment means that we have to open our heart, and ask ourselves to accept that it’s true. Which is not the easiest thing if we are used to critical self-talk and keeping ourselves hidden….
So cultivate a practice of deeply accepting a compliment this Valentines day. Pause, take a breath, notice how the compliment feels, and save that delicious expansive love someplace in your heart for another day.
The more you tune into your feminine core, the magnetic pull of passion that is your essential light – the more compliments you will attract to you.
Get ready to receive baby!
3. Adorn your body
Your body is a temple of wonder. Your skin, your eyes, your hair, your breasts. So many parts of you that are unique + beautiful.
But it doesn’t always feel that way.
As we hide ourselves + our imperfections from the world, we hide our heart.
We reject those parts of us that are crying to be healed. And we suffer.
So do everything in your power to adorn your body. Wear that dress that’s ‘too good for a work day’, put on some red lipstick, break out the expensive perfume, style your hair.
Let the beauty of the woman within be cultivated without.
4. Buy some incredibly HOT lingerie
It wouldn’t be valentines day without mention of lingerie. Yet surprisingly I’m not suggesting you wear this for anyone but yourself.
Upgrade everything in your underwear drawer that is old, uninspiring + makes you feel, well, ugly.
Replace it with soft, beautiful fabrics that make you feel like a Queen. It’s a sure-fire way to spice up your day.
While I was over in LA for a recent business Mastermind the only shopping stop I made was Victoria Secrets. I feel empowered when I feel beautiful in my body. And adorning it with some black lace is one of the best ways I know 😉
Embracing + desiring ourselves as women is one of the greatest lessons we can master. Because our sensuality has been tabooed, stolen, sensationalized + slandered.
And yet it is at the core of who we are. As lovers, and mothers. As business women + feminine souls – our sensuality and desire for ourselves is an essential ingredient for an awakened woman.
Over in The Embodied Woman Facebook group we’re having a discussion about sensuality, desire + all things relationship related. It’s a free, private + safe space to connect with awakening women, just like you.
Join the free community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/embodied.women.group/
