Don’t go chasing waterfalls: The perils of peak experiences for modern embodied women

August 23, 2017

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We are all waiting for that moment when it finally ‘drops in’…

Where the transformation, the woman we want (and deeply know ourselves to be) to be – finally arrives, for good.

Except for most of us.
We’re waiting a lifetime.

Perhaps we’ve seen some glimpse of this empowered woman while on retreat, or away from our real life.

Held in a cocoon away from the world – our real voice or sensual side emerges.

These kinds of peak experiences are intoxicating.

After 10 days sitting in total silence during a Vipassana Meditation Retreat, I returned high on life. Re-entering the world of diverse sensations and SOUNDs after such an extreme experience was ecstatic.

Yet the ecstatic excitement lasted about 4 hours.
Then life went back to normal.


The modern woman knows what peak experiences feel like – the moment you’ve finally broken through to a new normal.

But she also knows, the new-normal usually doesn’t last.

Within hours, days or weeks you find yourself back in the same loop you’ve always been in.

Perhaps feeling frustrated, disillusioned & wondering “what is it going to take!!!” to make this change last?


The truth is we each have a deeply conditioned set-point with which we engage with life.

These neural pathways are like steel-cable networks of habituation defining how we think, move, feel & express ourselves.

This seemingly unavoidable set point is often the habit or pattern or block that we are longing to break free from.
….. Perhaps it’s the repetitive self-judgment we just can’t seem to shake
….. The momentum & inertia we just can’t seem to relax
….. The confusion or overwhelm we just can’t seem to permanently clear

Yet when we don’t break free – despite a peak experience – it’s natural to feel frustrated & perhaps even a deep sense of failure.


At this point, it’s easy to give up.
The transformation didn’t last.

So we might tell ourselves we need to wait until the next peak-opportunity before change can happen….

  • I’m going to wait until my holidays & then dive in
  • Once XYZ is clean/organized then I’ll begin
  • I can’t start until I have the time and space
  • I’ll take a week off to work on it

I’ve told myself all these excuses.
And I’ve heard them from many clients as well.


When we’ve been wearing a certain habit for days/months/years – the habit takes on a familiar shape.

It might be the habit of keeping yourself small, or quiet.
It might be the habit of optimizing performance, rather than pleasure.

Whatever the habit you’re wearing. It’s like the dress you own that’s so comfortable, it’s the easiest thing to wear.

And despite the most profound peak experience, it’s likely this habit will re-emerge in almost 100% vibrancy for most women…


The trick with wearing a new habit is that…

Empowerment doesn’t happen in isolation.

Embodying our most magnetic selves doesn’t happen when we are avoiding our life.

Or creating temporary environments for success.

Peak experiences are powerful for giving us a glimpse into our potential.

But STAMINA is birthed in the real world, when we press play on life.


Stamina is the internal capacity to deal with our habits in real time.

Stamina is the ability to feel, open & surrender to the habits, and liberate them in our day to day real-world-life.

Stamina is what gets us through that task/job we don’t want to do – and stay open & embodied

Stamina is what helps us deal with our failures & setbacks – and stay open & embodied.

Stamina is an internal skill that, like a muscle, every woman can develop.


Peak experiences are a gift, but they are not the path of sustainable empowerment.

We can’t avoid that it’s the day-to-day habits that are the hardest to kick.

We can’t pretend that “commitment can only happen” when the kitchen is tidy & our life is in order.

We can’t delude ourselves there is a magic bullet for the self-critical constrictions we find ourselves living day in, day out.

We can’t place our hope in a Guru to magically transform us.


But what we can do is commit to building stamina today.
Right now.
In this moment.

How you showed up today.
Is who you are.

The way you spend your time today.
Is who you are.

And the most powerful thing to remember. Is that sensually empowered habits are NOT new habits to your feminine body.

They are actually ALREADY within you.

You are a playful, sensual, powerful woman.
So what is required, right now, for you to choose her over your old habits?

Let me know in the comments.

And if you’re ready to explore your inner feminine capacity & stamina – download the Feminine Magnetism Map. In this beautiful guide, we explore the 4 key feminine energy dynamics. Click here to download yours now.

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