How to get out of your head, stop feeling numb + crack open your heart?
My body was reminding me what it was like…
+ To glorifying the goddess of busy – I found myself telling my man “I’m just so busy, I don’t have time for …”
+ Taking me into the place of numb – not feeling anything fully, deeply or truly
+ Reminding me what it’s like to live a half-life, with a closed heart
This kind of living does not turn me on. So I went back to basics + retraced the steps for how to crack your heart open.
1. Acknowledge + Accept
When we are living with a closed heart, things feel boring. We see the sunset, but it doesn’t really touch us; we are with those we love, but we are not our most present; going through the motions, without being vibrant.
Often those around us don’t notice. Or if they do, we quickly shake it off as “I’m fine”.
Often we are a little too grumpy, frustrated and distracted to really get to the heart of the matter. And what’s worse, because it’s a closed heart it can actually feel quite hard to get to the heart of the matter.
Yet wherever we are, if some quiet part of us is whispering to live more of life, then it’s time to open our hearts more.
And this is an important step.
Because it’s not wrong to have a closed heart.
It’s not wrong to feel shut down, less vibrant or closed off.
You are not broken for feeling this way.
Having a closed heart doesn’t have to have a charge or tension.
Having a closed heart doesn’t have to be ‘bad’.
Having a closed heart just IS.
And you have a choice, to stay closed, or to open.
Your heart and soul want you to open. That’s why the closing feels so alien and not-quiet-enough.
So acknowledging that “my heart is closed, but that’s okay” is a critical first step. Acknowledging + accepting your closed heart, without judgement, is the critical step to coming into more open wholeness.
2. Ground + Cleanse
It’s impossible to change without a new perspective. The first and quickest way to get that is through getting outside and seeing the horizon. There is truly no better medicine than letting your neurons expand and letting your senses take in nature, and the wide open sky. It puts everything into better perspective.
Taking your shoes off while in nature also lets you ground. Your earth star chakra, located about 20cm under your feet, is associated with the root chakra and is associated with discharging negative energy. Letting dense and heavy energy return back to mother earth, where it can be recycled into something new.
Bring a piece of nature back into your home/work space and bring the process of cleansing your body + space. You’ve opened up your sight, your earth chakra and now it’s time to freshen up the area in the space around you before you turn within.
Liberating dense, heavy and stuck energies from your home will instantly do wonders for even the most average looking/feeling space.
There are two parts to cleansing.
1. The first is a powerful intent, similar to a mantra. Consider what qualities you desire to infuse into the space? Allow the words to arrive naturally. Love, safety, open, fresh, clean, supportive.
2. The second is a foci, or something to focus your intent on. My absolute favourite is sage, a dried herb used by American Indians for purification. I find sage is the easiest to focus on as the smoke diffuses and is really visible to the sense of smell and sight. But in the absence of sage I’ve been known to use candles, essential oils, reiki energy, flowers, wind, or whatever you can get your hands on.
3. Get it off your chest (with love)
The emotions of our heart are like a beautiful layered cake. The sweet tender mushy bits that are the most exquisite sit in our core. The hardened tough outer-crust sits closer to the surface. Sometimes covered by icing sugar, dressed up to look like something it’s not.
The trick with opening your heart is that you can’t get to the deepest sweet spot without going down through the layers.
Our outer shells tend to be made of the hard stuff. Anger, frustration, resentment – these emotions are usually the cap for everything that exists within.
Which means that in order to open deeper, we sometimes have to get a few things off our chest.
Is your heart feeling angry, hurt, betrayed?
Is some part of you quietly fed up?
Forget all the you-should-only-feel-positive-emotions-spiritual-beat-up and just get whatever emotion/thought/feeling/situation that’s sitting on your chest OFF.
Consciously expressing whatever sits at the surface is essential. And here is the kicker – we are consciously expressing this. With love, from a place of truth.
4. Move Your Body
Nothing helps our trapped, stagnate or heavy energy and emotions to shift than moving your body. It is the most POTENT way to get out of your head, and into your heart.
Breathe.
Dance.
Stretch.
Get into your sink.
And move.
5. Serve
Stepping out of your own world and into an act of service is the quick fire way to crack your heart open.
To give to another, without expectation. To share your love + compassion openly, amplifies the love you can receive back.
One of the reasons I love doing the work I do so much, is because it is of such service to so many women. In serving them, I have the beautiful reward of opening further, of amplifying the good vibes and of coming together in deeper love. It is the sweetest reward.
We’ve just started an ‘acts of service’ thread’ over in The Embodied Woman Facebook Group – sharing space and support for like-minded sisters who are ready to give and receive (you are welcome to join us here).
Which one of these 5 ways to crack your heart open resonates with you the most? I would love to hear in the comments section below.
