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Do you ever wake up feeling unsettled?
The day hasn’t begun yet.
But something is wrong.
It’s unclear exactly what is wrong.
You can’t quite put your finger on it.
But the more you awaken the more this subtle thread of feeling unsettled weaves its way into your mind.
That was me this morning.
And last night.
This feeling of unsettled has been coming upon me, at times, for as long as I can recall.
Perhaps throughout your day, in the most normal of moments, that unsettled sensation strikes you too?
A complex array of undefined feelings and sensations that derail you and has you feeling constricted, anxious and not-okay.
An anxiety of no known cause, with no means to remedy it.
Every single woman I know (‘spiritual’, or not) knows that sense of unsettled anxiety, of her own flavour.
We are all quietly suffering under this burden of accumulated stress & self-sabotaging behaviour embedded deep in our cells.
For some of us, we ignored & numbed the stress out…
We convince ourselves that “this is just normal”. We numb out that uncomfortable thrum of stress vibrating just under the surface.
We fuel our days with getting busier and distracting ourselves more in an attempt to push the anxiety deep down so we don’t have to deal with it.
Like a hangover we try to pretend it isn’t there.
For others, we feel the stress, yet resign ourselves to our fate…
Believing we are helpless victims of our life situation & mind’s bizarre ways. Perhaps we consider self-medicating with some extra wine or sugar (or both)…
Wondering who will fix this. Believing we are broken. Believing there is no way out. Quietly suffering while our passion for life drains out of our hearts.
Fewer still are aware of it & choose to do something about it…
Although it may have been your pattern or habit for years & decades – some part of you likely knows that this unsettled anxiety is not the TRUE you, the real you.
You are the woman who will find her way out.
As a teenager, when life was actually quite perfect, I remember the totally vague feeling of “something is not right” that I couldn’t attribute to any one thing.
But now that I’m older the flavour & more sensitive to my body the flavour is far more distinct and acute.
I’ve begun to notice:
- What triggers it – often a loss of control in my work or my time
- What it causes me to do – shut my heart and get super masculine (not feeling)
- What it does to my loved ones – I find myself being sharp and cold
The more and more I choose to live in my body & feel my emotions and sensations – ESPECIALLY the uncomfortable ones – the more I have learnt about this anxious behaviour.
And I’ve come to see it’s not the true me.
This anxiety-triggered, closed-hearted, super masculine, sharp & cold woman is NOT me.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about multiple personalities here, or not taking responsibility for my actions.
I take full loving responsibility as the woman perpetuating the anxiety in my life.
The cause is within me.
Specifically, the cause is stored stress within my nervous system.
But just because I feel unsettled anxiety at times – it doesn’t mean this state defines me.
Anxiety is not the true essence of who I am.
I’m a woman who desires a life full of freedom and pleasure.
But the reality is that when this anxious niggle arrives (sometimes first thing in the morning) & attempts to hijack my day, some very unflattering behaviors emerge…
I find myself:
- Finishing morning cuddles early, so I can get out of bed & get to work
- Closing my heart (because of course our hearts close to pain & uncomfortable feelings)
- Focus on getting my life in order and organizing my life, instead of living it
I’ve become a researcher of my unsettledness – tracking its movements, learning its flavor and bringing it into the light…
Witnessing myself in this behavior that is not the true me.
And this is the first step in re-writing the pattern.
STEP ONE:
Becoming AWARE of your feelings of unsettled anxiety is the portal into DOING something about it.
Perhaps like you, I am a woman committed to researching this unsettled anxiety and knowing it intimately. Because I choose to not live in this constricted way.
Perhaps like you, I desire to open my heart – wider and wider – to the full beauty that I can be and the rich life that I am ready to live.
As Embodied Women, we are committed to acknowledging the presence of this stored stress & liberating it OUT of our systems for good!
That liberation begins with knowing you are not alone in this.
And your feelings of unsettled anxiety do not define you.
They are not the true you.
Beautiful, in the comments I would love to hear from you – When do you experience feelings of unsettled anxiety?
