Do you tell ‘harmless’ little lies?
Are there some half-truths (or straight out lies) that still linger in your guilty conscious?
Would you prefer to tell a little lie than express your truth if it meant having an awkward or uncomfortable conversation with another?
Many of us know these little fibs as ‘white lies’ but I’m unclear if this term has white supremacist undercurrents (I suspect it does) so I’m going to refer to white lies as little-lies.
Recently, there was a truth I really wanted to express to those around me.
But I was confused & unsure about how to express it.
It was such a big truth, that I needed to take care of it.
Trouble was, it wasn’t only MY truth to share. Other people were involved.
And they had their own ideas & agendas (which was their right).
This tight spot – between truth & expression OR little lies & deceit – was making me feel sick in my stomach. A feeling of tension & tightness I didn’t want or desire.
About 3 years ago I swore off telling little lies.
Prior to that point, it had felt okay in my system to whisper a few half-truths here & there. Didn’t disturb my sleep at night.
But around 3 years ago my bodies sensitivity to truths, half-truths & little lies changed. I can’t pinpoint exactly how it changed, or why, though I lovingly blame my daily embodiment practices that attune me to my body for the subtle upgrade – an upgrade of no longer allowing subtle dishonoring of my body or her truth.
Where once I was happy to avoid awkward conversations by whispering a little lite.
Where once I could avoid that uncomfortable conversation or hurting people’s feelings by telling a half-truth.
No longer could I dance with dishonesty.
My body was demanding I honor my truth and allow it to be expressed.
Now the slightest taint of deception in my expression hurts.
Lies take the clean, pure, essential brilliance you are (your truth) & contort it’s shape, form & flavour until your truth is distorted into a more socially-palatable form.
Overt lies do this to extreme degrees.
But even little lies contort & distort.
A lie of any shape or form is a dishonoring of self.
It’s a denial of your truth.
Many people can easily lie because they are disembodied.
Disconnected from the currents of deep feeling & sensation in the body. Numb to the pain that dishonoring of lies cause.
It’s easy to live this way.
Tuned out to the uncomfortable.
Easily lying, because you’ve turned the volume down on the pain it causes your essential self.
When we distort our essential truth to avoid awkward conversations with others…
When we lie to avoid hurting people’s feelings…
When we tell little lies to make yourself seem more beautiful, or successful, or worthy…
We condition our system to tolerate untruths.
The easier it becomes to lie & deceive others,
The easier it is to lie & deceive yourself.
Your truths become so distorted, contorted & unclear that you can no longer discern it.
And that is the greatest loss of all.
Fact is TRUTH is sexy.
It hurts, it’s real, it’s vulnerable & challenging.
Truth is intimacy.
If you want to be able to tell radical truth to yourself.
Start my telling it to others (with a dose of compassion of course).
Since my own cellular rejection of lies, little lies & any shades of untruths I’ve become a lot more specific with my language. I’ve spent more time navigating my own truths in conversations with others. I have to confess some uncomfortable realities (to myself & others). It hasn’t always been flattering or represented me in the best light.
But it’s felt true.
Because it is true.
And that’s the most valuable currency for me.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I have to go around spurting my truth over everyone. Just because I don’t lie or tell half-truths, doesn’t mean I have to tell my truth to everyone.
Sometimes I don’t want to lie. But I don’t want to enter the discussion either.
This recently happened when someone asked the vaccination status of my child. It was a conversation I wasn’t interested in entering into with that person, at that time. Yet I didn’t want to lie, even if it was a little one…
Sometimes not lying means not having the discussion.
Sometimes not lying means deflecting that topic.
Sometimes not lying means a general non-committal answer.
You are a powerful woman & you get to decide what you are available to share, and what you want to keep private.
You don’t have to hide behind lies & dis-honour yourself.
So tell me… what does telling a little lie FEEL like in your body? Let me know in the comments section below (I’d love to hear)