Masculine and Feminine Energies: Why most of us have got it wrong & a definition for modern times

September 4, 2018


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“I’m not feminine enough.”
“I’m too masculine.”

I see these words online all the time. I hear them regularly. I’ve said them myself.

But what do they mean????

The typical idea that comes to mind when we think of masculine/feminine is this:

Masculine and feminine energy -min

But nothing could be further from the truth!!

This stereotypical ideal of what the feminine/masculine energies are is so far removed from what they truly are, that often the use of these terms does more harm than good.

Every person, irrespective of their identified-gender, sexual-orientation, or anatomy between their legs, has both masculine and feminine within them.

We are all 50:50.

We can think of the masculine and feminine as two extreme poles, or opposites, that we, as humans, dance between.

Sometimes we are:

  • Getting shit done
  • Being uber productive
  • Moving towards our goals
  • Organising and planning
  • Creating the freedom to simply BE

While other times we are:

  • Pausing to soak up the beauty of life
  • Feeling our emotions/feelings fully
  • A little wild & chaotic
  • Staying still, rather than moving forward

The masculine-go pole is concerned with moving towards freedom & goals.
The feminine-feeling pole is concerned with deepening love of life & flowing with life.

They are very different energies.
We all use them, day in day out.

But we don’t live in a 50:50 world.
We live in a world that values the masculine pole.

Doing, hustling, goal-orientated, obsession with freedom. A world where you are celebrated by working hard, and feel guilty when you rest.

So what are these energies?

The masculine/feminine energies are two poles of duality – two opposites on a spectrum. Just like day and night, yin and yang, love and hate, they represent the extreme ends of our nature.

But these energies are not cut and dry, they are not either/or.

Inside every moment of masculine, is still feminine. And inside every moment of feminine is still masculine. Like when the day turns to dusk and the sun is low in the sky, but the starts are starting to come out. A fluid middle transition.

If you identify as a man, you might naturally have a more feminine OR masculine OR neutral essence.
If you identify as a woman, you might naturally have a more feminine OR masculine OR neutral essence.
If you identify as gender-fluid, you might still naturally have a more feminine OR masculine OR neutral essence.

The trick with these energies is that when we use them DOGMATICALLY we lose the power of them.

]When the feminine becomes:

  • Only for women or
  • Flower crowns and soft pastel skirts

We lose its true essence.

When the masculine becomes:

  • Only for men or
  • Lifting heavy objects & roaring with a bare chest

We lose its true meaning.

Speaking as a woman who’s grown up in a masculine-orientated-world, I know that my feminine side was sorely under-developed, under-appreciated (by me, and by others) and under-cultivated.

And this left me feeling dry, exhausted & tired.
I was so worn out by the constant hustle.
Trying to do more/be more.
Always looking for the next (often corporate) ladder to climb & the next way to be busy.

Because the only value I knew was PRODUCTIVITY.

This is no way to live, and it’s not sustainable.
It is perhaps true that I wasn’t “feminine enough” – but not because there was an inherent flaw or problem with me. Rather because feeling, flowing & embracing the loving end of the spectrum wasn’t something I’d been show or encouraged to embrace.

The feminine was a skill I needed to remember & cultivate.

I believe it’s a skill this WORLD needs to remember.
We are raping our environment. Obsessed with more freedom and production.
Always going-going. Over-doing.

And it’s not sustainable.

All masculine with no feminine is not balanced.

So how can I work with the masculine/feminine dynamic in an authentic way?

Cultivating your feminine begins with identifying where you are in your masculine-overdrive. AND also being aware that it’s not “wrong” if you are in a habit of using more masculine skills than feminine ones. It’s incredibly normal.

Some signs you might feel in a masculine-overdrive include:

  • Exhaustion from always doing, doing, doing
  • Striving for a goal without feeling emotionally connected to the goal
  • Really good at creating structure/plans/order/to-do lists, without feeling much
  • Feeling numb to your emotions
  • Feeling confused about who you are or what you really want

If you identify with any of these signs, irrespective of your sex/orientation, it’s possibly a sign that your feminine side is under cultivated.

Some tips for you to cultivate more feminine-skills in your body might include:

  • Creating more room for beauty around you, your office, your space that engages the bodies senses (smells, textures/touch and sounds are particularly powerful ways to bring in the feminine which is about feeling)
  • Asking yourself what is the feeling that’s driving your action or decisions? Get clear on the emotional energy behind your ‘doing’
  • Slow the fu*k down by saying NO unless you absolutely mean YES
  • Plan a day in the coming two weeks where there is nothing on your agenda, and you are free to wake up and FLOW through the entire day by asking yourself this question “What would my body have me do next?”
  • Give yourself permission to really feel how you are feeling right now. How does your body feel? What stress is your body holding? Feel that. That’s your feminine energy right there.

Even if you just do 1 of these activities, it’s a delicious start.

And if you’d like to take things further I’d really encourage you to download our Drop In Process, it’s a short and free 10min guided process into the body that will connect you with your feminine nature more fully.

The link to download the audio is:

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So now I’d love to hear from you. What’s your experience of your masculine and feminine sides. Do you use more masculine-go energy in your day to day life, or more feminine-feeling? I’m curious to know! Let me know in the comments section – I’d love to hear from you!

Thanks so much for joining us.

4 Comments on “Masculine and Feminine Energies: Why most of us have got it wrong & a definition for modern times”

  1. Hi Jenna.

    I absolutely LOVE this post, you and all you share and embody.

    My question is I have the opposite problem lately … I’ve gone a bit overdrive in my feminine where nothing is getting done! And I feel uncomfortable in my masculine energy. I’ve become too relaxed. Lazy almost, not wanting to do anything that requires effort and doesn’t “feel” good or is delicious.

    Any suggestions or ideas on how to balance my masculine and bring him back on the scene?

    Loads of Love

    Nicole x

    • Nicole – so happy you wrote. Yes, an “excess” in the feminine can leave us feeling so much, flowing without structure or direction, and in the current of constant beauty and depth (rather than direction). I certainly know this place as well – there are times in my business, work, and life when I swing farrrrr left into the feminine side and it can be exhausting. A structure is the domain of the masculine, so I’d be curious to know which area of your life you feel more structure might be of use. For example, for me, my “structure” is waking up at 7am each day & having 1hr of time for personal practices. In the moment I flow & choose whichever practice works best for me (feminine) but the structure is there to keep the discipline for my devotion.

      The question to ask is – what STRUCTURE (in the forms of habits, boundaries, routines or hard limits) can I put in place to SUPPORT me? This is a delicious place to start…..

      PS. The coach in me also wonders if there are flavors of procrastination, from what you’ve written above, but this is another conversation 😉

  2. Wow! This is super helpful, I didn’t know what Musculine and Feminine really are until I read this! Now, I know I need to work on myself to be more Musculine! This is what I’m been looking for my whole life! Thank you so much!

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